As I walked to my room, needing time alone and needing some peace, I once again felt almost discouraged. I thought of how I did not want another day of discouragement and how *I* needed to be the encourager with the children. Sometimes it's just on you to do that, you know?
So, I sat on my bed and slumped over face down, my usual position to be at home with the Lord. It was time to talk again as so many times before. This is where I feel safe and peaceful. This is my perfect place. I cried out to the Lord to please help me. I needed more faith. I'm not talking saving faith but faith of knowing that our family is coming out of a slump that we've been in for quite a while. We've been through hurts and trials. I prayed to the Lord of knowing He carried us through those hurts. But how come I didn't have peace of the present hurts and uncertainties of where we're headed. Anger, grief and bitterness was laid on the table. Fears, anxiety and lack of peace were shared. The Lord knows what is in my heart. He always know but He just wants to hear it in prayer. It needs to be voiced.
After a while and the bricks were loaded off my shoulders, I was waiting for answers. Maybe not answers as a whole but maybe answers just to make it for a while.
So, I open my Bible without knowing where I was going, really. The first place I come to was Ezekiel. I thought of not reading in there in....since when? I don't remember when I read there. My eyes fall on the heading "The True Shepherd". Boy, am I glad to have a Shepherd! Where would I go without my Shepherd? And this is the passage I read:
For thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out.
12 As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day.
13 And I will bring them out from the people, and gather them from the countries, and will bring them to their own land, and feed them upon the mountains of Israel by the rivers, and in all the inhabited places of the country.
14 I will feed them in a good pasture, and upon the high mountains of Israel shall their fold be: there shall they lie in a good fold, and in a fat pasture shall they feed upon the mountains of Israel.
15 I will feed my flock, and I will cause them to lie down, saith the Lord GOD.
16 I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick: but I will destroy the fat and the strong; I will feed them with judgment.
And as for you, O my flock, thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I judge between cattle and cattle, between the rams and the he goats.
18 Seemeth it a small thing unto you to have eaten up the good pasture, but ye must tread down with your feet the residue of your pastures? and to have drunk of the deep waters, but ye must foul the residue with your feet?
19 And as for my flock, they eat that which ye have trodden with your feet; and they drink that which ye have fouled with your feet.
20 Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD unto them; Behold, I, even I, will judge between the fat cattle and between the lean cattle.
21 Because ye have thrust with side and with shoulder, and pushed all the diseased with your horns, till ye have scattered them abroad;
22 Therefore will I save my flock, and they shall no more be a prey; and I will judge between cattle and cattle.
23 And I will set up one shepherd over them, and he shall feed them, even my servant David; he shall feed them, and he shall be their shepherd.
24 And I the LORD will be their God, and my servant David a prince among them; I the LORD have spoken it.
25 And I will make with them a covenant of peace, and will cause the evil beasts to cease out of the land: and they shall dwell safely in the wilderness, and sleep in the woods.
26 And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing.
27 And the tree of the field shall yield her fruit, and the earth shall yield her increase, and they shall be safe in their land, and shall know that I am the LORD, when I have broken the bands of their yoke, and delivered them out of the hand of those that served themselves of them.
28 And they shall no more be a prey to the heathen, neither shall the beast of the land devour them; but they shall dwell safely, and none shall make them afraid.
29 And I will raise up for them a plant of renown, and they shall be no more consumed with hunger in the land, neither bear the shame of the heathen any more.
30 Thus shall they know that I the LORD their God am with them, and that they, even the house of Israel, are my people, saith the Lord GOD.
31 And ye my flock, the flock of my pasture, are men, and I am your God, saith the Lord GOD.
Thank you, Lord, for coming to save. Thank you, Lord, for being my Shepherd. Thank you Lord for the shelter in storms and pastures to eat from and your Living Water to drink from. My cup runneth over. Thank you for the balm to heal our wounds. You take care of our enemies. Joy comes in the morning. Peace, be still is uttered with confidence. Faith is renewed.
Next is patience...