A New Beginning

Okay so I've been remotivated for the umpteenth thousand time. To be honest, I don't know how long it will last this time. Hey, if nothing else I want honesty to be foremost. I want to lose this baby weight and be me. I haven't fully been me in over a decade. I haven't been even partially me in over six years. I don't want to be a fat mom. And I don't want people saying that I look good...for having had seven children. And I certainly don't want to be skinny. I without a doubt don't want to draw attention. I hate drawing attention for the good or the bad. I overheard someone complaining that no one complimented them about their weightloss. For some reason I feel embarrassed at any attention. And I am embarrassed for those who seek attention.

Anyhoo, so I want to lose weight. I'd like for clothes to fit properly. I feel better when clothes fit right. I'd like to feel a bit younger than I do as well. I seem tired a lot. And I don't want the dreaded diseases that comes with even slight weight gain. I am teetering between being normal and overweight on the Wii system. This morning I weighed 154 on our bathroom scales. I guess I could post my weight on here weekly. I think I'd be happy with anything in the 130s. So that would be a goal of 15 lbs. I don't want to set a goal date just yet but want to see if I have a set pattern.

I am not doing anything fancy but am just counting calories. I don't want to forbid any type of food as that would surely be the food that I'd feel compelled to indulge in. I am going to hopefully stick into the 1500 range. I'd like this to be average but if I go under a few 100 or over a few then it'll be okay. I am still nursing but Gloria eats table food. So her nutritional means doesn't solely come from me.

This diet begins today on June 23, 2009. Here's my checklist to obtain my goal:

~a lot of fresh veggies and fruit
~drink water
~stay in calorie target range
~stay active

Okay, so I hesitate to even enter this entry. I have begun, stopped and begun again so many times. At least school's not in full swing right now so I can focus more. I hope to post what I've ate sometimes along with my struggles and feelings. Oh yeah, and my weekly weigh in. On your mark, get set, lose weight!